Fear and Love

I was in the middle of preparing a talk on the third chapter of Jonah when I came across a discussion online between two friends.

Here’s Jonah 3.

Then the Lord spoke his word to Jonah a second time. He said, “Leave at once for the important city, Nineveh. Announce to the people the message I have given you.”   Jonah immediately went to Nineveh as the Lord told him. Nineveh was a very large city. It took three days to walk through it. Jonah entered the city and walked for about a day. Then he said, “In forty days Nineveh will be destroyed.”
The people of Nineveh believed God. They decided to fast, and everyone, from the most important to the least important, dressed in sackcloth.
When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he got up from his throne, took off his robe, put on sackcloth, and sat in ashes. 7 Then he made this announcement and sent it throughout the city:
“This is an order from the king and his nobles: No one is to eat or drink anything. This includes all people, animals, cattle, and sheep. Every person and animal must put on sackcloth. Cry loudly to God for help. Turn from your wicked ways and your acts of violence. Who knows? God may reconsider his plans and turn from his burning anger so that we won’t die.”
God saw what they did. He saw that they turned from their wicked ways. So God reconsidered his threat to destroy them, and he didn’t do it. Jonah 3:1-10. God’s Word

My two friends were crossing swords on an online forum that I visit fairly frequently. I will call these two guys “Ed” and “Ted” (not their real names). A little background might be in order.

• “Ed” is a committed and outspoken Christian. He speaks or writes with humour, but also with great directness. Consquently, some of the people on the forum have taken a dislike to him, or at least to the belief system he espouses.
• “Ted” is what I might call a “used to be Christian.” He grew up in a Christian denomination but has walked away from that. He would call himself a “spiritualist”. He believes in spirituality but not in Christianity. He does not believe in an “absolutist” view of religion. He does believe in reincarnation.

With that background, here’s something of the online discussion between my online mates.
“Ed” writes: “In fact if you read all the things Jesus said and did, His emphasis was almost always on His love for us… not on His intention to punish anyone. If you think Christianity is about “fear”, then I suggest you have an inaccurate perception and understanding. Isn’t there more “fear” involved in being presented with multiple incarnations that involve stress and painful struggle to try and reach enlightenment?”

“Ted” replies:  “Christians believe that the ONLY way to heaven is through accepting Jesus as the Son of God. The moment you say that you are instilling fear into people, and are being quite arrogant to boot.”  ….   ”By being absolutest the Christian religion is based on fear – It is my way or the highway,… a fear tactic designed to convert people to Christianity. No matter which way you try to spin it around or twist the words it is still the same.”

 I read that and thought both had a point.  Jesus used the motivation of love not fear. He drew people to himself and to God by demonstrating love and compassion.  On the other hand, I have heard my share of “fire and brimstone” preaching, where people are made to feel the fear of hell as a motivation to coming to faith in Jesus.

So, here I am reading this discussion online and preparing a message about Jonah as well. This prompted the question:
What part does fear play in Jonah? (particularly in chapter 3)
• The sailors (in chapter 1) were full of fear because of the storm sent by God.
• There’s every indication (in chapter 2) that Jonah experienced some fear when he thrown overboard.
• In chapter 3, does Jonah obey the second time he’s called because of the duty of obedience or because he’s afraid of another fish-like experience? We don’t know. We’re not told why Jonah obeyed the second time, but I can’t help but wonder if there isn’t some fear involved.
• Why did the people of Nineveh suddenly repent? The message was one of destruction in 40 days. I can’t help but believe there was some fear involved in that decision too.
I believe there was some fear in operation here. My question is, “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” It’s from that question that I want to form some big ideas.

UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEALTHY & UNHEALTHY FEAR.
To live a life that is dominated and controlled by fear is a terrible thing.
Some people’s lives are ruled by fear. There is a phobia for just about everything. Have you seen those lists? The one I found online (phopialist.com) had a list of 530 phobias. Let me give you a few. Some of them sound legitimate enough.

• Ballistophobia: the fear of bullets.
• Taphophobia: the fear being buried alive.
• Mysophobia: the fear of dirt or germs, or being contaminated by them.
• Peladophobia is the fear of bald people-. (You gotta watch those shifty bald people …)
• Aulophobia is the fear flutes- (watch out for killer flutes…)
• People who have Geliophobia are afraid of laughter-. (I think I might have known some of them)
• Arachibutyrophobia (I don’t know if I can pronounce that one) is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.

While we might have a good laugh at some of those, for the person who suffers from one of these phobias, it is a terrible life. It’s irrational and unexplainable. It controls people’s lives and makes life unbearable.

A life lived in fear is an awful thing.
To play on those fears as a means of manipulating people is just plain wrong.

At the same time, there are some forms of fear that are healthy.

• The skydiver has a healthy fear of hitting the ground hard. For that reason he or she will check and recheck the parachute to make sure it has been packed well. It is a fear that produces a healthy result.
• As a motorcycle rider, the thought of a car coming out in front of me is not a particularly comforting thought. That’s why, out of a healthy sense of fear, I look both ways at each intersection, and then look again, even when I know the other stree has a stop sign. If I see a car with it’s turn indicator on, I think, “That turn indicator works.” But I don’t believe they are actually going to turn until I see them turn.
• Some streets are dangerous at night. There are bad people out there, some of whom will make trouble for yoy. A healthy sense of fear will cause you to think twice before going into places of danger.
• Healthy fear motivates us to stay away from dangerous places. It prompts us to make sure our vehicles and equipment is safe. It promotes taking safety measures and hinders us from doing stupid or foolish things.
• I remember asking an electrician if he was afraid of electricity. He said he wasn’t afraid as long as he understood and operated with respect for the properties of electricity. He has a healthy respect for what electricity could do if it was handled carelessly, but he understood that if he used certain precautions, he was completely safe.

That’s the first big idea: learn to identify the difference between fear that is healthy and fear that is unhealthy.

ACCEPT GOD’S PEACE
This is where my online friend “Ed” is absolutely right. If you look at the ministry of Jesus, he is continually drawing people away from fear and towards peace through God’s love.
Over and over again, the Bible gives us this phrase, “Fear not.” Let’s look at a few.

Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9. NKJV
 

Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10. RSV
“So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom. Luke 12:32. NLT

God does not want you to live a life dominated by fear and apprehension. God doesn’t want to frighten you into believing in Jesus. God wants to enter into a relationship, whereby we “do life” together with God, motivated and driven by love rather than by fear.

God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day — our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life — fear of death, fear of judgment — is one not yet fully formed in love. 1 John 4:16-18. Message

Turn all your anxiety over to God because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7. God’s Word

ENCOURAGE HEALTHY FEAR (including the fear of God)

This is where my friend “Ted” misses the point. He thinks all fear is bad. He doesn’t seem to get the concept of healthy fear. He believes, and so do I, that our prime motivator ought to be love. Fear as a prime motivator can be manipulative and evil.

I found this quote from motivational speaker Zig Ziglar:
Dr. Judge M. Lyle said, “Someone has said that the basis of action should be love and not fear. Theoretically that is true, but in practice it does not work out that way. There are legitimate fears. Fear of ignorance causes you to seek an education and fear of poverty makes you work. Fear of disease motivates you to practice healthy and sanitary living. Fear of losing your job will inspire you to show up on time and do the best you know how to do. Fear of failing a class will drive a student to spend extra time in the books. Fear of losing our family inspires us to be faithful to them, work hard for them, and show them love on a daily basis.”

If we go back to my other friend, the electrician, I think we could learn a lot about how to approach healthy fear. He approaches an electrical circuit, not with a paralysing fear, but with a healthy respect. He knows that if he handles things right, there is nothing to be afraid of. He also knows if he’s careless, the consequences could be, well, shocking.

This is also true when you look at those places in the Bible where we are told to fear God.

Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment. Proverbs 9:10. NLT

 Fear the Lord and judge with integrity, for the Lord our God does not tolerate perverted justice, partiality, or the taking of bribes. 2 Chronicles 19:7. NLT (spoken by King Jehoshaphat to judges he apointed)

Those who fear the Lord are secure; he will be a refuge for their children. Proverbs 14:26. NLT

Fearing God does not mean being afraid of God.
It means a healthy respect for what God can do if not handled correctly, or of what can happen to life if lived without God.
That’s what we want to encourage in our lives. Not being afraid of God but of being humble and respectful, reverent and in awe of who God is.
What kinds of things encourage that kind of fear or reverence?
Those are the things we ought to be doing.

 I want to finish with one little twist.
Sometimes love must instill fear until a better motivator can be brought to maturity.

 When my kids were little, they would sometimes do things that were not right and were certainly not motivated by love. You can’t expect someone who is not mature to act with maturity. So, our love, as parents, had to guide them. Let’s say one of them lied. This response was so typical that they still remember it to this day. I would say something like this;
 

“This is what you did. You told a lie. If you keep doing that, you will grow up to be an adult who lies. I love you too much to let that happen. So, this is what you’re going to get [followed by a description of whatever punishment was about to follow].
This was an impartation of fear motivated by love.

What parent has not, out of love, sought to instill some sense of healthy fear in their children?
Fear of sticking a knife into a power outlet…
Fear of walking into the street without looking…
Fear of touching a hot stove…
When they’re older, and more mature, you don’t need to do that anymore, because they can see for themselves the consequences of carelessness around things that could cause harm.

I think, that’s pretty much what God did with Nineveh and with Jonah. He wanted them to understand the consequences of going through life while disregarding the God who made them. God didn’t want to hurt them. He didn’t want to them to cower in fear. In love, God wanted them to realise their full potential while living in partnership with God.
And that’s really what God wants for all of us: Freedom from fear in the context of healthy reverence.